Mexican phrases and what their literal meaning in English is. Hilarious
 
1. A Mexican doesn’t “humor you”…“he gives you a plane” (te da el avión).
2. A Mexican doesn’t “make fun of you”…he “snacks” on you (te botanea) or he “grabs you while you’re going down” (te agarra de bajada).
3. A Mexican doesn’t “flirt with you”…he “throws you the dog” (te tira el perro).
4. A Mexican doesn’t “ignore you”…he “does as if the virgin’s speaking to him” (hace como que la virgen le habla).
5. A Mexican doesn’t “beat about the bush”…he “loves doing it the sucky sucky way” (le encanta hacerle a la mamada).
6. A Mexican doesn’t have “sexual intercourse in the morning”…he throws “the morning one” (se avienta el mañanero).
7. A Mexican isn’t “hungover”…he “has a raw one of the you’re gonna cry type” (tiene una cruda marca llorarás).
8. A Mexican doesn’t get confused…he “turns himself into balls” (se hace bolas).
9. A Mexican doesn’t “get drunk”…he goes “fart, blurry, chachalaco, all the way up to his little hands” (se pone pedo, borroso, chachalaco, hasta las manitas pues).
10. A Mexican isn’t “in a hurry”…he “goes into a motherly transformation” (va vuelto madre).
12. A Mexican doesn’t “get scared or surprised”…he “gets himself out of the fart” (se saca de pedo).
13. A Mexican doesn’t “wait for a miracle”…he goes “to dance to Chalma” (se va a bailar a Chalma).
14. A Mexican doesn’t “nearly fail”…he “makes it on his belly” (pasa de panzazo).
15. A Mexican doesn’t “kill time”…he’s “poking his eyes” (está picándose los ojos).
16. A Mexican doesn’t “plan ahead”…he “measures the water for the sweet potatoes” (le mide el agua a los camotes).
17. A Mexican doesn’t “cheat on you”…he “rides another bicycle.”
18. A Mexican doesn’t “ask for permission”…he “asks for chance” (And that last ‘e’ is not silent).
19. A Mexican doesn’t “fund raise”…he “builds a cow” (arma la vaca).
20. A Mexican doesn’t have “complete certainty about something”…his “mothers fall over him” (le cae de madres).
21. A Mexican doesn’t “improvise”…he “throws himself over like El Borras” (se avienta como Guillermo Rivas).
22. A Mexican doesn’t drink “mineral water”…he drinks “Tehuacán” (yes, that’s the name of a town in Puebla).
23. A Mexican doesn’t “get lost in his own thoughts”…he’s “thinking about the crab’s immortality.”
24. A Mexican doesn’t “get distracted”…he “goes slobbing or doing like a papalote” (anda baboseando o papaloteando).
25. A Mexican doesn’t “dress up”…he “puts on some nice pipiris.” (se pone pipiris nice).
26. A Mexican is not “lazy”…he “has a hard roe that’s just too much” (tiene una hueva que no puede con ella).
27. A Mexican doesn’t “mix”…he “campechanea.”
28. A Mexican doesn’t “lend you some money”…he “loosens you some varo” (te afloja un varo).
29. A Mexican isn’t “careless”…he does things “the pushing way” (hace las cosas al aventón).
30. A Mexican doesn’t “ask for favors”…he “asks for strikes” (pide paros).
31. A Mexican doesn’t “make a scene”…he “makes a Pancho” (hace un Pancho).
32. A Mexican isn’t “untidy”…he is “fodongo.”
33. A Mexican isn’t a “bully”…he’s a “gandalla.”
34. A Mexican doesn’t punch you…he “unleashes a big momma on you” (te suelta un madrazo).
35. A Mexican doesn’t “take a nap”..he “goes into a little eyelash or into a baby coyote” (se echa una pestañita o un coyotito).
36. A mexican isn’t “having a bad time”… his “train is carrying him” (and he probably has no idea where he’s gonna get down).
37. A Mexican doesn’t “take advantage of you”…he “eats your groceries” (te come el mandado).
38. A Mexican isn’t “unbearable”…he “bleeds copiously” (es bien sangrón).
39. A Mexican doesn’t “share”…he “wears Puebla F.C.’s jersey” (se pone la del Puebla).
40. And a Mexican doesn’t just “die”…he “sucks lighthouses” (chupa faros)
 

 
Sources:
pic: pinterest
words: http://matadornetwork.com/abroad/45-funniest-mexican-expressions-use/